Most of the days have blended into one more day on the program. The only day that stands out was a Christmas party that I went to. Saturday, I could have been "on-program" but I decided that I wanted to eat "regular" food this particular night. I ate careful amounts, but I did eat a bunch of carbohydrates and fats. Corn chips with cheese sauce, mint milano cookies, gingerbread cake (so good!), and peanut brittle. Yum!!! I even had two cups (small) of punch. It was fun, I had a great time, and the next day...........
I didn't feel so awful at first. I was definitely hungrier than any other time I've been on the plan. But what got me was that the rest of the day, I was VERY emotional. Yes, I had some obstacles put in my way that day, but I reacted in over-the-top emotional ways to each new piece of bad news. (not even directly in my own life!) I wondered aloud to myself, at the end of Sunday, if sugar was partly to blame for the emotional aspect of my reactions.
I had been eating gluten-free for about two months before this program, and had noticed that I was not freaking out as much. (history of up-down swings,very quickly, diagnosed as bipolar rapid-cycling -type 2) When I started my medicine (trileptl, or the generic oxcarbazepine) things got even better. Sunday felt like a throwback to being 17 again, and almost overwhelmed me completely. On Monday, I was visiting with friends who both eat gluten-free. My friend has Celiac disease and cannot ingest gluten, or it causes a myriad of yucky symptoms. She mentioned how emotionally overwrought she felt when she was still eating wheat and other gluten-filled products. (I have known her a long time, and she's right, she's more calm now.) I put two and two together and got four, so I'll be avoiding cookies and cakes for the rest of my life. I had not really meant to eat gluten that night - I just wasn't thinking. Whoooops.
I'm not sure what day it is on my program anymore, but I do know this : I'm under 200 pounds for the first time in quite a while. Not sure when I was this number, but I bet I won't see it again... This morning, the day before tomorrow's weigh in, I weighed 199.
199.
I just wanted to say that again. 199. ONE NINETY NINE!! My pants are fitting way better, except the ones I need a belt with now, and people are starting to notice that I look different. I keep reassuring everyone that I'm just fine. I truly feel pretty darn good!
I'm getting creative with the foods from Ideal Protein, and I got a recipe book that I would not recommend wholeheartedly. I did try one concoction : I brewed up some chai (spiced tea) really strong, and let it cool in the fridge overnight. Next morning, I took the chai, and used it to make the vanilla pudding. That was awesome!!! Later today, I'll be taking my mint concoction and making mint-chocolate pudding. :) I'm also using different spices, like sweet smoked paprika and poppy seeds in my salad dressing.
I am the Prepared Girl or I risk being Hungry Girl - at least that is what I figured would happen. It's almost as if my body understands now that I will feed it - not to worry - and chills out. When I was eating sugar a lot, and carbohydrates like cereal, I was hungry a lot more than I ever am now. So one day, when I got waylaid even with my best plans, I didn't even feel hungry when I normally would have. It felt good to feel "normal".
My uniform is fitting less snugly, and my pants are getting longer! (if you are round in the middle and lose that roundness, pants get longer!) I may have to have my favorite expensive pants taken in! So far I'm still wearing my size 18 pants, but now I can fit my ARM in there, as well.
My husband has commented recently that he's proud of my discipline. His words mean a lot to me - he has seen me on the weight loss boat before. He's never once tried to discourage me in any way or "tempt" me. I did have to tell him a bit more about the plan so that he would not offer me protein the wrong time of day (I actually don't need real meat in the morning, but later I feel like I do). I'm still not quite disciplined enough to say no to an egg and a slice of ham that was made just for me. :-)
Next time, I'll talk about attention, and managing the "oh you look so gooood!" comments and the "oh my god, you're starving yourself" comments, too. I'm hearing both. It's weird. For those of you who do not do the Ideal Protein program, I just want you to know that I'm taking ten pills of supplements a day, so I am not "starving". I do look gooood - But, I've just always looked gooood! In my eyes, and in my husband's eyes, anyway!
Take care and feel free to comment or poke me if I don't update ;-)!
Warmly,
Sunflower
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